One of the most important skills we give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship when something they have done (or not done) effects someone else.
Like most other things, they learn this primarily by watching what you model.
Kids need to see adults apologize and take ownership of the impact of their actions with these two important elements:
1. The absence of shame. If we enter shame when we apologize we take away the focus on the other person's pain or upset.
2. The presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
Good luck out there parents! If you're anything like me there are MANY opportunities every day to model apologizing ..š
ā
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn that a securely attached young child expresses their distress, seeks proximity to their caregiver, and calms quickly, and that this pattern of express-seek-soothe can be seen throughout our lifespan, with teens seeking friends, adults seeking romantic partners or close friends, but always involving the freedom to have an emotional need, be close, and receive comfort at every stage of life.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, you'll learn that hovering over our kids to protect them is not the best form of protection, as they need us to be connected with them so they can come to us as a refuge, and that the best protection we can offer them is connection.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}