One of the most important skills we give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship when something they have done (or not done) effects someone else.
Like most other things, they learn this primarily by watching what you model.
Kids need to see adults apologize and take ownership of the impact of their actions with these two important elements:
1. The absence of shame. If we enter shame when we apologize we take away the focus on the other person's pain or upset.
2. The presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
Good luck out there parents! If you're anything like me there are MANY opportunities every day to model apologizing ..š
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In this video, you'll learn about the myth of parental control, and how focusing on controlling our own behavior rather than our children's behavior can lead to a more secure attachment relationship and greater self-control in our children.
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In this video, you'll learn that anger is not dangerous, but can be triggering due to past experiences, and that we need to teach children (and ourselves) how to feel and share anger safely, rather than shaming them for it, by helping them uncover and communicate the underlying need.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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