We want our kids to be able to take accountability for their actions but also be empowered enough to stand up for their needs and have boundaries with people who are bullying or mistreating them.
When someone is upset at them or with them, use it as an opportunity to teach them the difference between insults and feedback.
We want our kids to guard themselves from insults, but openly receive feedback.
Teaching them the difference will make all the difference.
Insults are aimed at their personhood (I don't like you)
Feedback is aimed at the behavior (I don't like what you did)
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Learn how to raise secure, well-regulated, and resilient children by focusing on teaching them how to live in community and develop close attachment relationships, instead of teaching them independence, in this enlightening video that emphasizes the importance of positive, supportive, and mutual relationships, and the role of trust in creating dependence.
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Discover why responding attentively to your young children won't make them weak, self-centered and dependent adults, as research shows that emotional attunement and responsiveness from caregivers helps children feel safe and develop better awareness and focus in relationships, whereas ignoring their emotional needs leads to heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships - check out the recommended studies to learn more and trust your instincts for care.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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