Empathy is learned through RECEIVING empathy, and being surrounded by people who MODEL empathy, not thru being instructed to say "I'm sorry".
Here's how to guide a child when something they have done is hurtful to someone else.
1. Connect with them about the feelings that drove their behavioral choice
2. Model empathy for the person who was impacted by their actions
3. Collaborate with them to brainstorm repair and help them execute that repair
Rinse and Repeat. Hundreds of times.
The ability to be accountable for our actions and empathetic to the people who were negatively impacted is a highly complex emotional skill that takes time to learn. How many grown ups do you know that do it well? Most people were told to "say sorry" without any training on the complex process truly involved in taking accountability and making repairs.
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Parenting can be tough, but taking a minute to reflect on your long-term goals and imagining your kids as adults can help guide your decisions and strengthen your relationship with them - remember to be kind to yourself and hold onto the vision.
Learn how to navigate the difficult terrain of adolescence by positioning yourself as a collaborative guide, rather than a control-focused dictator, and taking the time to truly understand what is happening for your teen in this video.
Our children are incredibly compassionate and caring, but they are also incredibly vulnerable to people who are manipulative enough to pray upon their loyalty and love. In this video, I'll talk about why teaching them the definition of abandonment is so important.
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