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We don't have to choose between being compassionate and setting a limit.
In fact, the more connected we remain to our child as we teach them, the better their brain will function for absorbing the lesson at hand instead of processing our reactive responses to their emotions.
FYI: How long it takes to set a compassionate limit varies depending on your child's age, how hungry or tired they are at that moment, what other stressors they are navigating in their life at the moment, and whether or not you have been consistent in your structure and limits.
In this heartwarming video, a gate attendant at Denver International Airport demonstrates the incredible power of empathy and patience in de-escalating a tense situation during a 6.5 hour flight delay, highlighting how accepting and understanding a child's emotions (and an adult's) can prevent dangerous behavioral responses and soothe their nervous systems.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.