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We don't have to choose between being compassionate and setting a limit.
In fact, the more connected we remain to our child as we teach them, the better their brain will function for absorbing the lesson at hand instead of processing our reactive responses to their emotions.
FYI: How long it takes to set a compassionate limit varies depending on your child's age, how hungry or tired they are at that moment, what other stressors they are navigating in their life at the moment, and whether or not you have been consistent in your structure and limits.
The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
Learn how to handle the endless "why" questions from your child by turning it into a time of imagination, allowing them to wonder and theorize about things, rather than just providing an answer, which can foster a sense of connection and curiosity.
The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.