1.

Restraint Collapse: Aka Why Your Children Fall Apart After a Day Away from You

No items found.

Kids hold it together during the day at school and camp and daycare and grandma's house because they instinctively trust you to hold their tenderest emotional states. It's called RESTRAINT COLLAPSE.

Your attachment relationship is the place they feel the most comfortable expressing their strong feelings.

So many things happen during their days that they don't have the time or the secure place to feel and process, so those things come out at the end of the day with you.

But not always directly. Sometimes they go sideways about something seemingly small because they just don't have executive functioning skills to connect their emotional state to something that happened hours before.

When your kids get home and start melting down, offer them compassion and a safe place to be emotionally messy. And a protein snack. And be kind to yourself, you're not failing, you're their safe place.

!7maZdGQE

Join the Attachment Nerd Herd

Complete access for $29

Similar to what you just watched

You are in Charge of Nurture Not Nature
00:43

Learn how accepting your child for who they are can foster a secure attachment and inner confidence that helps them thrive in a world that may not always accept them, in this insightful video on nature, nurture, and parenting.

View
Calm Guidance is Not Permissive
01:15

The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.

View
Teaching Accountability and Empathy
01:23

In this video, you'll learn how to guide children when they have hurt someone, by connecting with them about their feelings, modeling empathy for the person impacted, and collaborating with them to make repairs, as empathy is learned through receiving empathy and being surrounded by empathetic models.

View