1.

Restraint Collapse: Aka Why Your Children Fall Apart After a Day Away from You

No items found.

Kids hold it together during the day at school and camp and daycare and grandma's house because they instinctively trust you to hold their tenderest emotional states. It's called RESTRAINT COLLAPSE.

Your attachment relationship is the place they feel the most comfortable expressing their strong feelings.

So many things happen during their days that they don't have the time or the secure place to feel and process, so those things come out at the end of the day with you.

But not always directly. Sometimes they go sideways about something seemingly small because they just don't have executive functioning skills to connect their emotional state to something that happened hours before.

When your kids get home and start melting down, offer them compassion and a safe place to be emotionally messy. And a protein snack. And be kind to yourself, you're not failing, you're their safe place.

!7maZdGQE

Join the Attachment Nerd Herd

Complete access for $29

Similar to what you just watched

Two Things to Say to Your Children Every Day
01:15

In this heartwarming video, learn the power of "I adore you" and "I am sorry" in building secure attachment and initiating repair in relationships.

View
Dealing With the Doubters
01:29

In this video, parenting expert shares insights on the challenges of breaking cycles, while encouraging parents to stay compassionate and connected with their children, as they have never regretted this approach, and harshness and disconnection are the most common regrets among parents.

View
Teaching Accountability and Empathy
01:23

In this video, you'll learn how to guide children when they have hurt someone, by connecting with them about their feelings, modeling empathy for the person impacted, and collaborating with them to make repairs, as empathy is learned through receiving empathy and being surrounded by empathetic models.

View