Kids hold it together during the day at school and camp and daycare and grandma's house because they instinctively trust you to hold their tenderest emotional states. It's called RESTRAINT COLLAPSE.
Your attachment relationship is the place they feel the most comfortable expressing their strong feelings.
So many things happen during their days that they don't have the time or the secure place to feel and process, so those things come out at the end of the day with you.
But not always directly. Sometimes they go sideways about something seemingly small because they just don't have executive functioning skills to connect their emotional state to something that happened hours before.
When your kids get home and start melting down, offer them compassion and a safe place to be emotionally messy. And a protein snack. And be kind to yourself, you're not failing, you're their safe place.
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In this video, you'll learn the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state of shame by acknowledging their feelings, buffering them with calmness and presence, and connecting with them in an authentic human way to help them feel worthy and not alone.
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Learn how to overcome compassion fatigue and repair your relationship with your kids by owning your failure, offering delayed compassion, and starting the dance of connection again in this powerful video.
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In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
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