Your kids are doing the best they can.
When we tease them for struggling it puts a wound in their self concept and in our relationship with them.
Even if we are truly joking because it's socially acceptable and maybe our parents did it with us, it's truly risky because we don't know how it will land. There are lots of other things to be funny about that don't hold the potential to be emotionally abusive.
I see parents do this thinking it's harmless. Unfortunately it can be deeply hurtful to say that your child will one day see how awful they were by having a child as awful as them.
Parenting is hard sometimes, but our kids don't need to feel guilty about that.
If you've already done this, own it and apologize...we all make mistakes, then when we know better, we do better. Just like we are asking our children.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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In this video, learn about the power of empathy when dealing with anger, but also be warned about the limits of empathy in the context of abusive mentalities, where anger is used to justify harmful behavior.
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Learn how to help your child process their emotions and build a deeper connection with them by following these three simple tips, which can help switch their neurochemistry from panic or despair to safety and connection.
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