Your kids NEED you to connect with the adults in your life.
I know this can seem the opposite when they cling to your leg as you leave them with a babysitter for an evening night out with your partner or with your friends.
But it is vital to their health. Because you are their most influential model on these two things:
1. How they should treat others
2. How others should treat them
So they are watching you and looking for a template on close mature relationships. You can't care for them fully without also caring for your own attachment needs.
Esp because you will unconsciously expect them to meet your needs if you aren't doing it yourself.
You deserve close, caring spaces to be given love with the other adults in your life, and so does your partner or close friends.
investing in your adult relationships IS investing in your kids.
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In this video, the presenter discusses two potential reasons for constantly feeling insecure in a romantic relationship and provides solutions for each, including moving on if the partner isn't right or putting in the work to internalize the love you have if you have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.
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In this video, we explore why punishment may not be the best approach to parenting and how positive reinforcement can be a more effective and nurturing alternative
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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