Your kids NEED you to connect with the adults in your life.
I know this can seem the opposite when they cling to your leg as you leave them with a babysitter for an evening night out with your partner or with your friends.
But it is vital to their health. Because you are their most influential model on these two things:
1. How they should treat others
2. How others should treat them
So they are watching you and looking for a template on close mature relationships. You can't care for them fully without also caring for your own attachment needs.
Esp because you will unconsciously expect them to meet your needs if you aren't doing it yourself.
You deserve close, caring spaces to be given love with the other adults in your life, and so does your partner or close friends.
investing in your adult relationships IS investing in your kids.
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In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
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The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
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In this video, you'll learn that anger is not dangerous, but can be triggering due to past experiences, and that we need to teach children (and ourselves) how to feel and share anger safely, rather than shaming them for it, by helping them uncover and communicate the underlying need.
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