1.
Sometimes in the moment we forget the long term goals of parenting. We are exhausted or lost in someone else's judgment or just don't know what to do.
Take one minute and pause. Imagine your kids as grownups recounting this moment, what do you wish for them to have felt or experienced from you?
Do your best and be kind when you mess up (we all do ALOT)
Hold onto the vision of your long term relationship with your kids when you're making the tedious short term decisions of the day. You won't regret it.
In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.