Raise your hand if you've ever eaten food off the floor or couch because the effort it would take to put it in the trash felt far more burdensome than the effort to simply put it down the mouth hatch 🙋
Sigh. Making good decisions when you are:
Tired
Hungry
Lonely
Angry (yes my AA folks I see you putting the HALT together)
In loss and grief
In a change or transition
Anxious
Depressed
Stressed the f out
Over stimulated
Under stimulated
Dealing with oppression
Battling pain (chronic or not)
Etc etc.
We don't make our decisions simply from some clear moral center in our brains. We make our decisions from the contexts that are putting us into different mental states.
The more support and resources a person has the higher their capacity to learn how to take care of themselves, their loved ones and the greater community.
This is true for me. And all the adults I've ever met.
This is even more true for children whose brains are not even fully formed yet.
When a kid or a grownup is making poor choices, remember to see them in the context of their past and present. Remember to offer them (and yourself) compassion based on their context and understanding as a fellow human on this wild unpredictable, and sometimes painful ride.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
Our children are incredibly compassionate and caring, but they are also incredibly vulnerable to people who are manipulative enough to pray upon their loyalty and love. In this video, I'll talk about why teaching them the definition of abandonment is so important.
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In this video, learn three practical tips for helping children learn honesty, including recognizing and managing your own anxiety, understanding that lying is normal and has a range of nuances, and creating an environment of empathy and understanding for messiness.
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