Raise your hand if you've ever eaten food off the floor or couch because the effort it would take to put it in the trash felt far more burdensome than the effort to simply put it down the mouth hatch 🙋
Sigh. Making good decisions when you are:
Tired
Hungry
Lonely
Angry (yes my AA folks I see you putting the HALT together)
In loss and grief
In a change or transition
Anxious
Depressed
Stressed the f out
Over stimulated
Under stimulated
Dealing with oppression
Battling pain (chronic or not)
Etc etc.
We don't make our decisions simply from some clear moral center in our brains. We make our decisions from the contexts that are putting us into different mental states.
The more support and resources a person has the higher their capacity to learn how to take care of themselves, their loved ones and the greater community.
This is true for me. And all the adults I've ever met.
This is even more true for children whose brains are not even fully formed yet.
When a kid or a grownup is making poor choices, remember to see them in the context of their past and present. Remember to offer them (and yourself) compassion based on their context and understanding as a fellow human on this wild unpredictable, and sometimes painful ride.
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In this video, Dr. Ramani explains how being devalued as a child can lead to over-idealizing your own children, ultimately making them ill-equipped to handle life's challenges, and suggests that adoring and guiding them with boundaries and limits is a healthier approach.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
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In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
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