Separation meltdowns in small children are not a sign that something is wrong with your child.
They are a sign that your child prefers you over other caregivers.
As their primary attachment figure, you function as the place they feel the most secure, so for a few young years (usually between 9mo-3.5/4 years old), they won't want to separate from you, especially in situations where there are no other family members or close familiar relationships.
Though this is emotionally laborious for us as caregivers, their clinging is a natural part of a secure attachment relationship in early childhood.
Try using separation rituals to help your children feel some control in the process and have a positive moment to look forward to in the separation process.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
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In this video, you'll learn why young children may exhibit physical aggression towards others, and why it's important for parents and caregivers to respond with calm and thoughtful guidance rather than harsh punishment.
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Discover why responding attentively to your young children won't make them weak, self-centered and dependent adults, as research shows that emotional attunement and responsiveness from caregivers helps children feel safe and develop better awareness and focus in relationships, whereas ignoring their emotional needs leads to heightened fear states that make it hard for them to learn the nuances of relationships - check out the recommended studies to learn more and trust your instincts for care.
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