Boredom is painful. For kids and for us parents who feel their agitation and the pull to agitate us as a way to regulate their bodies.
The key for our kids (and let's be honest for us too), is to stay in a place of compassionate teaching.
What does that look like?
1. Express empathy for what they are feeling
2. Help them notice the body sensations connected with boredom. (Dr. Dan Siegel says "Name it to Tame it")
3. Help them develop the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state.
4. Be patient with them as this skill takes significant time to develop and master.
5. Instead of giving them options and entertaining them (rescuing them from the boredom), teach them how to discover their own options and tolerate the discomfort of boredom without collapsing into despair.
Parenting can be hard. You want to do everything you can to make your kid feel worthy, but sometimes it feels like you're just not sure what to do. Luckily, dogs offer some great advice!
A message to all fathers: keep going with your efforts to connect with your children because they desperately need to see what a healthy, connected, caring male looks like, and it will create a secure attachment that fosters resilience.
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In this video, you'll learn the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state of shame by acknowledging their feelings, buffering them with calmness and presence, and connecting with them in an authentic human way to help them feel worthy and not alone.
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