Helping our kids accept boundaries and limits is one of the most important tasks of a parent. Because all healthy relationships have boundaries and limits.
And just like the other things our children learn, the most helpful way for a child to understand a concept is for us to model it for them.
In a world that is so often focused on power and control we can get so focused on the message that children should respect their parents boundaries, and not even consider the fact that as parents we can honor some of our children's boundaries as well.
Healthy boundaries are about protecting connection and safety not about protecting power.
Take some time to consider a boundary that your child has tried to set with you. Something that does not prevent their health or safety, and will help them feel respected by you as a unique human that deserves to set their own boundaries as well as to respect yours.
Then do the work to respect it. Notice that it takes work to learn a boundary and use that information to grow your compassion when your children struggle to immediately follow yours.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
Hey there! In this video, I'm sharing a personal story about how I learned the importance of fixing things in parent-child relationships. I talk about owning up to my mistakes, listening to my kid's feelings, and making things right. Remember, it's okay to mess up; just be patient and don't be too hard on yourself. We're all in this together!
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In this video, you'll learn that hovering over our kids to protect them is not the best form of protection, as they need us to be connected with them so they can come to us as a refuge, and that the best protection we can offer them is connection.
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