Feeling jealous is painful. Feeling jealous and then being shamed or punished is confusing for a child. And it doesn't equip them to know what to do with the feeling.
When your child feels jealous they need the same set of things they need when they feel any other painful emotion.
1. Empathy and support understanding their emotion and learning words to put to it.
2. Help regulating their body.
3. Compassionate guidance on how to cope with the feeling.
Jealousy is not a character defect. It's a normal and complex body state that abates when it is acknowledged and the person feeling it is given emotional support to handle it and not act it out.
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In this video, the speaker discusses how our culture tends to attribute behaviors and motivations to people's private parts, and proposes the term "Overgenitalization" to help us understand that violence and nurture do not come from a person's reproductive body parts, but rather from the environments and social experiences they are raised in.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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In this video, the speaker discusses how children experience grief differently than adults, and how their feelings of loss and powerlessness may manifest through tantrums, whining, or anger, emphasizing the importance of reaching out to support children during times of transition and change.
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