The drive to always be around people can come from two different sources...
1. A natural extraversion that drives you to get energy by being with people
2. A trauma response that developed in relationship to unpredictable early caregivers and an ensuing fear that people are going to leave or give up on you...
Or both.
If number 2 sounds right to you (especially in romantic relationships), that's a good indicator that your heart needs some space to process your early relationships and understand how they impacted you to make room for new ways of finding rest in solitude and space from others.
If you didn't have a secure attachment style in childhood, you're not alone. Here are three phases of healing you can work through to change your patterns of relating and build new, secure relationships.
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Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
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In this video, the presenter discusses two potential reasons for constantly feeling insecure in a romantic relationship and provides solutions for each, including moving on if the partner isn't right or putting in the work to internalize the love you have if you have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.
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