The drive to always be around people can come from two different sources...
1. A natural extraversion that drives you to get energy by being with people
2. A trauma response that developed in relationship to unpredictable early caregivers and an ensuing fear that people are going to leave or give up on you...
Or both.
If number 2 sounds right to you (especially in romantic relationships), that's a good indicator that your heart needs some space to process your early relationships and understand how they impacted you to make room for new ways of finding rest in solitude and space from others.
A message to all fathers: keep going with your efforts to connect with your children because they desperately need to see what a healthy, connected, caring male looks like, and it will create a secure attachment that fosters resilience.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
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In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
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