One of the most important roles we play in our children's lives is the role of assisting with emotional regulation.
Because their brains are still developing they need to borrow our calmness and groundedness when they are emotionally flooded.
This is FAR easier said than done. Especially if you are highly sensitive or if you are an abuse survivor.
Remember these three things to help you stay calm and available to your kids:
1. It's not my job to make their feelings go away, it's my job to teach them about their feelings and how to feel them
2. What I felt BEFORE their meltdown is my body state, I can return to that and still care about their feelings (differentiation)
3. All feelings pass
Hang in there parents, the more you do this the easier it gets!!
Learn how to foster secure attachment with your child by being a consistently responsive and connection-focused parent, and don't beat yourself up for not being perfect - the important thing is to focus on repairing and staying dedicated to the relationship.
In this video, the speaker emphasizes the importance of attuning to children's inner world to build a secure attachment and suggests occasionally checking in with kids about their needs for love and affection, particularly during developmental leaps, to ensure that the love we give them is getting through in the way we intend it to.
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In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.
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