One of the most important roles we play in our children's lives is the role of assisting with emotional regulation.
Because their brains are still developing they need to borrow our calmness and groundedness when they are emotionally flooded.
This is FAR easier said than done. Especially if you are highly sensitive or if you are an abuse survivor.
Remember these three things to help you stay calm and available to your kids:
1. It's not my job to make their feelings go away, it's my job to teach them about their feelings and how to feel them
2. What I felt BEFORE their meltdown is my body state, I can return to that and still care about their feelings (differentiation)
3. All feelings pass
Hang in there parents, the more you do this the easier it gets!!
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
In this video, you'll discover how to respond to your children's disrespectful behavior with compassion and set healthy boundaries while modeling respectful communication.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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