When our kids talk to us in a disrespectful tone or using disrespectful words it can be tempting to sass right back at them in a controlling voice.. which ironically just reinforces the behavior we are trying to stop.
But if we do nothing, we also do our kids a disservice because they don't learn how hurtful their tone and approach can be when trying to communicate their message to others.
So instead of being controlling or dismissive, communicate a compassionate boundary and model how to be heard I always (as much as you can) communicating to them with respect.
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In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
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The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
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Join your child in their delight and communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid - this is key in developing their self-esteem, and play is the perfect context for learning and bonding.
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