Navigating shame is HARD no matter what but it's way harder if you don't know how to identify it in your body, or say it out loud to another person.
Here are the shAmeBC's for helping someone you love navigate the painful emotional state..
1. Acknowledge their shame feelings
2. Buffer those feelings by being calm and present
3. Connect with them in an authentic human way that helps them understand they are worthy and not alone in whatever human thing they did or didn't do to trigger those feelings...
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
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In this video, Dr. Laura Markham shares practical tips on how to help kids and parents manage boredom by staying in a place of compassionate teaching, which involves expressing empathy, helping kids notice body sensations, developing the habit of seeing boredom as an unidentified need state, being patient, and teaching kids to discover their own options without collapsing into despair.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
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