When we say "use your words" during an emotional moment, we are trying to help our children come to a place of regulation. Unfortunately we are using a tool that they cannot access at that moment.
The reason they are not using their words, is because the language centers of the brain are being flooded with reactionary neurochemistry. Which means that hearing instructions via language isn't going to work either.
Instead, communicate with your non-verbal presence so that your child can FEEL your support to help their brain regain a sense of calm and connectedness.
After the emotional flooding has subsided and their thinking brain is above water again, they will be much more capable of using their words and helping you understand what was happening for them.
Discover why emotional responsiveness and support are essential for developing empathy and resilience in your child in this informative video that debunks the myth that giving your child empathy will teach them that the world revolves around them.
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In this video, learn about the power of empathy when dealing with anger, but also be warned about the limits of empathy in the context of abusive mentalities, where anger is used to justify harmful behavior.
Learn the power of modeling self-compassion to your kids, as it inspires authenticity and problem-solving, and helps them develop their own self-treatment based on how they see you treat yourself.
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