When we say "use your words" during an emotional moment, we are trying to help our children come to a place of regulation. Unfortunately we are using a tool that they cannot access at that moment.
The reason they are not using their words, is because the language centers of the brain are being flooded with reactionary neurochemistry. Which means that hearing instructions via language isn't going to work either.
Instead, communicate with your non-verbal presence so that your child can FEEL your support to help their brain regain a sense of calm and connectedness.
After the emotional flooding has subsided and their thinking brain is above water again, they will be much more capable of using their words and helping you understand what was happening for them.
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This video explains the reasons why young children may slam doors and offers tips on how to handle the situation with calmness, compassion, and understanding.
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In this video, learn how to help your children calm down during moments of intense emotions by providing them with compassion and time.
Our children are incredibly compassionate and caring, but they are also incredibly vulnerable to people who are manipulative enough to pray upon their loyalty and love. In this video, I'll talk about why teaching them the definition of abandonment is so important.
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