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Kids, teens, and adults can all experience a level of emotional flooding that disorients us and leads us to push away the very people we need.
Flipping our lids. Losing our minds. Breaking down.
It's a chemical reaction to the neurochemistry of fear. We are essentially high on norepinephrine. Our brain is making it hard for us to think and to trust even our safest people.
So how should we handle this and respond when it's happening to someone we love?
The key is something I call the Letting go/Staying close method. Release any pressure on the person and STAND BACK but still STAND BY. Stay open so they can feel your unassuming supportive presence and not feel oppressed or abandoned by you.
Then when their brain resets, and their calming neurochemicals kick in, you can reconnect and help them identify what they need.
In this heartwarming video, a gate attendant at Denver International Airport demonstrates the incredible power of empathy and patience in de-escalating a tense situation during a 6.5 hour flight delay, highlighting how accepting and understanding a child's emotions (and an adult's) can prevent dangerous behavioral responses and soothe their nervous systems.
Learn how to navigate parenting with a partner who is not on the same page as you when it comes to attachment-focused parenting in this enlightening video that emphasizes the importance of starting with connection, collaboration, and modeling instead of trying to persuade or degrade your partner's way of doing things, and seeking support if your partner is abusive.
Learn how contempt in relationships often stems from shame and how to address the root cause of contempt by addressing the underlying shame through vulnerability and open communication with your partner or attachment figures in this insightful and practical video.