Kids, teens, and adults can all experience a level of emotional flooding that disorients us and leads us to push away the very people we need.
Flipping our lids. Losing our minds. Breaking down.
It's a chemical reaction to the neurochemistry of fear. We are essentially high on norepinephrine. Our brain is making it hard for us to think and to trust even our safest people.
So how should we handle this and respond when it's happening to someone we love?
The key is something I call the Letting go/Staying close method. Release any pressure on the person and STAND BACK but still STAND BY. Stay open so they can feel your unassuming supportive presence and not feel oppressed or abandoned by you.
Then when their brain resets, and their calming neurochemicals kick in, you can reconnect and help them identify what they need.
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In this video, you'll learn that because we identify with our attachment loves, we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves, and that being more gentle with ourselves can lead to more kindness and generosity towards the people who matter most.
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In this video, learn why it's important to focus on soothing and supporting kids' emotions before trying to teach them, as strong emotions take energy away from the brain's thinking and processing areas, and how you can use co-regulation and language to help them grow once they've calmed down. Remember to "Connect before you correct," as Dr. Karyn Purvis said.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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