Kids, teens, and adults can all experience a level of emotional flooding that disorients us and leads us to push away the very people we need.
Flipping our lids. Losing our minds. Breaking down.
It's a chemical reaction to the neurochemistry of fear. We are essentially high on norepinephrine. Our brain is making it hard for us to think and to trust even our safest people.
So how should we handle this and respond when it's happening to someone we love?
The key is something I call the Letting go/Staying close method. Release any pressure on the person and STAND BACK but still STAND BY. Stay open so they can feel your unassuming supportive presence and not feel oppressed or abandoned by you.
Then when their brain resets, and their calming neurochemicals kick in, you can reconnect and help them identify what they need.
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In this Q&A video, Alicia Malnati shares three tips to help your children love learning for the sake of learning, including setting challenging but attainable goals, emphasizing effort over innate ability, and praising specific tactics rather than traits.
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Teaching healthy conflict resolution to our children means modeling it for them, which requires communicating and connecting through conflict without fighting dirty or being violent.
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Join your child in their delight and communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid - this is key in developing their self-esteem, and play is the perfect context for learning and bonding.
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