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Kindness is something we learn in proximity to others. It is receiving empathy that makes giving empathy intuitive, not having our other responses shamed.
Just like we give children the opportunity to learn math and reading and don't expect it to make sense overnight or after one instruction, we can give children the developmental space they need to learn what kindness feels like and what a great thing it truly is.
P.S. neurodivergent children may look less "kind" or like they are struggling to learn it because their brains are focusing differently and they need specific learning tools. If you are doing this well and it's not working, might be worth seeking an evaluation thru your school etc.
The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
A message to all fathers: keep going with your efforts to connect with your children because they desperately need to see what a healthy, connected, caring male looks like, and it will create a secure attachment that fosters resilience.
Discover which of the 4 attachment styles, represented by different animals, resonates with you the most when dealing with emotional distress in this thought-provoking video.