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Kindness is something we learn in proximity to others. It is receiving empathy that makes giving empathy intuitive, not having our other responses shamed.
Just like we give children the opportunity to learn math and reading and don't expect it to make sense overnight or after one instruction, we can give children the developmental space they need to learn what kindness feels like and what a great thing it truly is.
P.S. neurodivergent children may look less "kind" or like they are struggling to learn it because their brains are focusing differently and they need specific learning tools. If you are doing this well and it's not working, might be worth seeking an evaluation thru your school etc.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
Learn how attuning to a child's interests and internal states can build their trust in their body, freeing them to confidently explore the world in this insightful video.
Discover why natural consequences are great teachers for children, especially those with neurodivergent conditions like ADHD and Autism, and why guiding and teaching instead of punishing and preaching is a more effective approach to helping your child learn to listen to and trust their bodies, in this enlightening video on interoception and attachment.