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Kindness is something we learn in proximity to others. It is receiving empathy that makes giving empathy intuitive, not having our other responses shamed.
Just like we give children the opportunity to learn math and reading and don't expect it to make sense overnight or after one instruction, we can give children the developmental space they need to learn what kindness feels like and what a great thing it truly is.
P.S. neurodivergent children may look less "kind" or like they are struggling to learn it because their brains are focusing differently and they need specific learning tools. If you are doing this well and it's not working, might be worth seeking an evaluation thru your school etc.
The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
In this relatable and comforting video, parents are reminded to focus on minimizing damage and staying calm during meltdowns, even when they go viral, and to practice compassion towards themselves and others during these challenging times.