Grief is disorienting for adults, and we have fully formed prefrontal lobes. For kids it is impossible to process directly.
Instead it comes out sideways and in the indescribable feelings of lostness and powerlessness.
Kids in grief and transition and change are often more whiney or tantrum prone or angry. They are feeling the grief but without the capacity to link it to the narrative.
When a kid is acting out more than normal, reach out instead of clamping down, you might be surprised how much sense their feelings make when put into context.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.
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In this video, you'll learn that hovering over our kids to protect them is not the best form of protection, as they need us to be connected with them so they can come to us as a refuge, and that the best protection we can offer them is connection.
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In this video, you'll learn that one of the most important skills we can give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship, primarily by watching what we model, with the two important elements being the absence of shame and the presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
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