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The heart of a person with an avoidant attachment style isn't "I don't want to be close"...it's "I don't want to burden you with my needs and emotions".
So if someone you love is avoidant, be faithful to show up in their small stuff and remind them how honored you feel to do so. They are so scared their needs will push you away so take time to show them that the opposite is actually true.
Learn how to break the cycle of generational trauma and cultivate a secure attachment relationship between you and your child by doing the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
In this video, the presenter discusses two potential reasons for constantly feeling insecure in a romantic relationship and provides solutions for each, including moving on if the partner isn't right or putting in the work to internalize the love you have if you have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.