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If you find yourself entirely awkward and wanting to go into your shell when there are big emotions around, you likely grew up with an anxious avoidant attachment style.
Which is the fancy research term to describe family relationships where parents don't know what to do with emotions, so dismiss them, ignore them, and avoid them, teaching you to do the same.
The good news is this condition is not permanent. IF you put in some work to learn how to tolerate your own feelings and develop a skill for being present and grounded when feelings are surrounding, you'll find that life outside of the shell can lead to some really beautiful connected moments.
Learn how to break the cycle of generational trauma and cultivate a secure attachment relationship between you and your child by doing the healing work that you can, trusting the next generation to keep it going.
Model for them your own consent process, and help them deeply understand the nuance of desire
In this video, the presenter discusses two potential reasons for constantly feeling insecure in a romantic relationship and provides solutions for each, including moving on if the partner isn't right or putting in the work to internalize the love you have if you have an anxious preoccupied attachment style.