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The most powerful tool a parent has to influence their children, is their own nervous system.
When we ground ourselves and take responsibility over our own dysregulation we not only offer our children a model for calmness, we also make better parenting choices.
It's far more effective to be calm and receptive than to be angry and reactive.
And calming our bodies is infectious (just like we get infected by our children's upset bodies.)
It can feel like doing "nothing" in a world that values control so deeply, but watch what happens to your children and to your relationships with your children when you take the time to be grounded and compassionate, instead of reactive and directive.
Do it consistently (and I mean REALLY commit to trying it) and I promise you two weeks and you will have a very different influence and rhythm with your child.
Learn why it's vital to your children's health for you to connect with the adults in your life and model close, mature relationships, and how investing in your own attachment needs is essential to fully caring for your children in this insightful video.
In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
Parenting can be tough, but taking a minute to reflect on your long-term goals and imagining your kids as adults can help guide your decisions and strengthen your relationship with them - remember to be kind to yourself and hold onto the vision.