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It's been a pattern in our culture for a long time to attribute behaviors and motivations to people's private parts. And while there are differences in our hormones as a result of our sex chromosomes, those differences are not things that determine our ways of relating to each other.
Overgenitalization is a term I am coining to help us deal with this problem. Violence doesn't come from a person's under-bits, it comes from the environments and social experiences they are raised in.
Nurture doesn't come from someone's reproductive body parts...it comes as a result of being nurtured or encouraged to nurture.
The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
In this video, you'll learn that because we identify with our attachment loves, we are more likely to treat them the same way we treat ourselves, and that being more gentle with ourselves can lead to more kindness and generosity towards the people who matter most.
The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.