If you offer empathy to someone in an angry state it will help them feel seen heard and connected to you. But if you offer that empathy to someone in an angry state who has abusive mentalities... It won't work.
Someone who relates to other people through power and control, or an abusive mindset, uses anger to justify intentionally hurting others.
Anger is a valid thing in all healthy relationships. But using your anger to justify harmful behavior is abusive and not ok.
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The myth that comforting your child will "spoil" them is not only emotionally harmful but also creates an altered brain state that leads to higher levels of stress and mental illness in adulthood, giving them compassion and comfort will only help them develop a healthier brain function.
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In this video, the speaker discusses time outs from a perspective based on attachment research, emphasizing the importance of taking breaks to help reset our brains when we are dysregulated and the need for calm co-regulation rather than isolating with shame or pain as a lesson, adding that the lesson we want to teach is that our bodies need breaks sometimes to calm down so our brains can make good, safe choices - and this lesson applies to marriages as well!
Learn the power of modeling self-compassion to your kids, as it inspires authenticity and problem-solving, and helps them develop their own self-treatment based on how they see you treat yourself.
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