I've been thinking about how hard it is when my clients and friends and family work towards sobriety or decreasing use of a substance.
It awful. Even though it is the path to greater health and stability and connection in relationships etc.
It's hard.
And I believe that is one of the underlying reasons that folks in the throes of addiction get so defensive and angry when we acknowledge with them our true levels of concern.
(Yes some folks with addictions also have relationally abusive mentalities and that drives the response too).
But most of the folks I know who have battled the addiction beast and come out the other end are kind hearted people who had a nightmare to walk thru before they could feel peace and be their true underlying sober self.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
.webp){kind=avatar}
In this video, learn about the power of empathy when dealing with anger, but also be warned about the limits of empathy in the context of abusive mentalities, where anger is used to justify harmful behavior.
.webp){kind=avatar}
Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.
%402x.svg){kind=icon}