The term "boundary" can feel cold and disconnecting, which makes it hard for many of us to successfully ask for what we need in our close relationships, especially when that need is asking someone to stop a behavior or use a different tactic in relating to us.
But without healthy boundaries, resentment grows in our relationships, putting them at risk...
So think of boundaries as the strong links between two train cars that keep them together but safe from crashing into each other.
Boundaries are not about being distant from people, they are about being both connected and separate. They give us enough distance to remain true to ourselves, and keep our connection authentic in order to keep us tethered securely to each other.
Supporting a trauma survivor's felt safety means being present with empathy and patience, providing a space of safety to help calm their dysregulation and offer them a secure and grounding attachment relationship.
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Learn how to strengthen your relationship and become more securely attached by reframing conflict as an opportunity to discover new things about yourself and your partner, and find out how naming your fights can bring levity and help you avoid repeating them in this insightful video.
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In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.
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