With all of the various forms of parenting advice out there it can be overwhelming to know what you're supposed to do in tricky moments.
Here is a breakdown of 4 different parenting mindsets to help you identify choices based on your actual parenting goals.
1. Power and control mindset "my job is to teach you to submit"
2. Behavioral mindset "my job is to teach you how to act"
3. Permissive mindset "my job is to make you feel comfortable"
4. Attachment mindset "my job is to be a secure base and a safe haven for you to use as I guide you as you grow and learn about the world"
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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In this video, learn how to help your children build healthy relationships with their siblings by focusing on your own communication, being present, accepting all emotions, and using connection tools to model effective social skills without burdening your kids with pressure.
Learn about the concept of Restraint Collapse and how children rely on their attachment relationship to express their emotions in this insightful video, which provides tips on how to offer compassion and a safe space for your kids to release their emotional tensions after holding it together all day.
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