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A huge component of a secure attachment relationship between parent and child is a parent's ability to accept who their child is. When we accept our children, we teach them to accept themselves which leads to a rich inner confidence and resilience in a world that will not always accept them.
There is nature (who your child is) and nurture (how your responses to who they are makes them feel about it)
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
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In this video, the speaker shares how their mother broke the cycle of attachment trauma by letting go of guilt and control, leading to a loving and secure relationship that transcended generations of abuse.