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When kids are bored it triggers a stress response in their brains which activates their amygdala and deactivates the prefrontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for thinking and decision making. Which makes it impossible for them to take any of your good suggestions and put them to work.
They need you to hold your suggestions while you hold space for their emotional pain and discomfort so they can feel soothed and reconnect with their executive functioning skills Then they can pick something that will stimulate them in whatever way is right.
The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
In this video, the speaker discusses the challenges of managing anger when recovering from a childhood where anger was out of control, but emphasizes that anger is a normal and necessary feeling, and our children need empathy and support to learn how to manage it, rather than being labeled as abusive. Additionally, the speaker suggests seeking care to separate past trauma responses from present situations for both yourself and your children's wellbeing.