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Sometimes our children are so filled with adrenaline during a burst of emotion that it takes their neurochemistry a minute to reset. Their brain is triggered and they are not able yet to be calm enough to be comforted.
They need us to pause and stay calm and not take their reaction personally.
They WILL calm down if you give them compassion and time.
As parents, we want to protect our children from harm, but threats of violence may not be the best way to do so. Instead, we can be a refuge and a barrier for our children, offering comfort and support in times of need.
Learn the power of modeling self-compassion to your kids, as it inspires authenticity and problem-solving, and helps them develop their own self-treatment based on how they see you treat yourself.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.