When we are unable to reach our children through gentle and respectful requests (aka we ask nicely 16 times for something and it isn't happening), there is a temptation to pivot to harshness, threats, and punishments to motivate them.
Unfortunately, when we go that route, our behavior adds tension and fear into the learning process and limits the amount of our children's brains that are online.
Instead of turning the volume up on fear and punishment, turn the volume up on playfulness.
When we are playful we engage our child's whole brain. It makes learning easier and deeper. Plus you have more fun too.
(Costumes not required)
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In this video, you'll learn that one of the most important skills we can give our children is the ability to apologize and repair in a relationship, primarily by watching what we model, with the two important elements being the absence of shame and the presence of true understanding of what the other person felt or experienced as a result of our actions or inactions.
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Join your child in their delight and communicate to them that their instincts and preferences are valuable and valid - this is key in developing their self-esteem, and play is the perfect context for learning and bonding.
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The difference between calm and gentle teaching and permissiveness when addressing problematic behavior in children can be confusing, but punishing a child for their mistakes does not teach them emotional and behavioral maturity; instead, being respectful and patient in drawing boundaries and limits is more effective in teaching children the right way to handle difficult situations.
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