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Three tips for navigating the tricky moments and conversations that happen in every relationship....
1. You can acknowledge the tension and dynamics before you are ready to solve them...sometimes just acknowledging disconnection relieves the bigness of it.
2. Communicate your confidence in your relationship and your ability to figure it out when the time is right. "This is hard but I believe in us and know we will figure it out together".
3. Take a copious amount of time to actively listen to the other person's perspective and needs. Do this with an open heart and body state. You don't have to agree to truly hear someone.
The difference between consequences and punishment is important to understand, as consequences are the natural outcome of an action and necessary for learning, while punishments are intentional pain inflicted to control behavior, which can damage the parent-child relationship and hinder a child's growth towards internal security.
Learn how to navigate parenting with a partner who is not on the same page as you when it comes to attachment-focused parenting in this enlightening video that emphasizes the importance of starting with connection, collaboration, and modeling instead of trying to persuade or degrade your partner's way of doing things, and seeking support if your partner is abusive.
The idea of toughening up your children to deal with the world only makes you their first bully, stripping them of their sense of belonging with you; treat your children with respect and connection so that they instinctively protect themselves from unkind and cruel treatment.