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Human beings are wired to co-regulate. Which means that closeness to other people when we are in distress helps our nervous systems to calm and reset.
The words "come here" or "I am here" when used with gentleness and compassion are deeply soothing and can help our loved ones know that their emotional needs are not a burden to us.
In this video, relationship expert explains how the instinct to push away when wanting to be close is called "protest" behavior in attachment research, but in couples counseling, it is often referred to as sabotage, and shares the most effective way to bring your partner close is to express your desire for connection.
In this video, learn about the importance of timing when teaching children how to regulate their emotions, and why it's essential to wait until they have calmed down before offering guidance.
Learn how to regulate your emotions and offer calm and compassionate support to your child when they are upset, even if you experienced childhood trauma or lack of emotional support from your parents, in this insightful video that emphasizes the importance of parking your inner child in a safe place, attending to their needs, and returning to being the parent your child needs.