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The way we make meaning about our children's behavior is a huge component of whether or not they will have a secure attachment experience with us.
When we help our children see the needs beneath their behavior we give them the opportunity to learn how to articulate their needs instead of acting them out.
It is not enabling a child to help them see the dignified need beneath a problematic behavior. It is empowering them. This is the crux of a secure parent child dynamic.
In this video, you'll learn that when facing defiance from children, it's important to avoid grabbing for power and instead seek connection, getting curious about their needs and working with a spirit of compassion to help them, rather than against them.
In this video, you'll learn that how you live is the biggest teaching tool in your toolkit, as humans are wired to learn through watching and imitating, rather than through directions or instructions.
Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.