Reminder that if we want our kids to be secure, well-regulated and resilient, we aren't trying to teach them to need nothing from anyone (independence ), we are trying to teach them how to effectively live in community and how to have close attachment relationships (interdependence).
Human beings thrive when we are in positive supportive, mutual relationships.
If your kids need your help (especially in big emotional moments), you are not creating dependence when you support them, you are creating trust.
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Avoid focusing too much on fairness when teaching kids, as it can create a belief that good behavior is always rewarded and bad behavior is always punished, leading to the dangerous belief that they deserve any trauma they experience, instead use relational motivation to guide them towards making good choices.
In this video, you'll discover how to respond to your children's disrespectful behavior with compassion and set healthy boundaries while modeling respectful communication.
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The most helpful way for a child to understand boundaries is to model it for them, and as parents, we should also honor some of our children's boundaries as well to protect connection and safety, not power.
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